Daily Reflection & Song of the South: I Must build my own hearth now

Here is a poem I wrote years ago, about the journey I was on to re-claim my life as my own, when I began to face parts of my childhood that were painful, which traumatized me, and thought about how to make sense of that in my life.

I was thinking about this journey to rebuild my life which I am going on as I do the work of grief which for me now is to re-embrace my life, and I thought it was such a fitting picture of this process.

May it help you take back whatever is missing from your life.

Micah

 

snow

There was a warm hearth in my childhood home

burning bright with firewood flame.

 

When the chill of snow, so rare, would come

like some unexpected Christmas guest

even in March

I would trudge out, cold and alone,

little feet stomping at frantic pace

through rolling hills

which sparkled white with fresh blown snow

that transformed the dips and rises

surrounding that simple back yard

into scenes from some enchanted forest

where more was possible than often seen.

 

hearth

The fireplace light made many such magic journey possible.

When frost’s icy teeth bit at my heels

I’d return

like some newborn child to his crib

to that hearth’s embrace

its waves of heat enfolding me

like grandma’s family quilt.

 

There is no feeling that quite speaks of homecoming and joy

as those icy pin pricks

I would feel running up and down my frozen feet

when they rested bare

before that fiery window to my soul.

 

It is gone now,

that home long since sold

when momma’s health gave way and

daddy’s drinking turned full tilt.

winter home

I must build my own hearth now,

to weather the frigid winters of this world.

What bricks must I gather,

what woodpile can I turn to,

and who will sit with me,

hot cocoa in their ice-numbed hands

as we huddle together under warm blankets

against the gathering chill of night?

 

Oh forgotten home how you haunt me

with memories of hikes in your woods

playing in your swiftly flowing streams

and hiding in your hand-built forts.

You do not remember them.

How can you, a thing of wood and stone?

 

building-home-construction2

But my soul knows.

And so I grab hammer and nails

deep in the winter wood of my soul

to build a solace for the storms

where I and my companions may be gathered in

amidst the long dark chill of time.

 

home 2

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Daily Reflection & Song of the South: I Must build my own hearth now

  1. Carletta says:

    Just keep on blessing us, Micah. I am healed by your work and love sharing it with others, who also respond with thanksgiving.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s