I am often a far too impatient man. I begin a diet and exercise regimen. A week into it, I am frustrated. “I don’t feel I’m losing any weight, getting any healthier”. I can get frustrated and impatient before the new practice has a chance to change me.
I remember feeling that way when I first began meditation. I remember saying to myself “I still feel stressed out. My thoughts still seem all over the place. Inner peace, come on and show up. Why all this waiting?”
I have been going through something similar in another transition in my life. I’ve done everything I can to open the door to this next big step in my life. And I wait. Sometimes it feel likes the breakthrough will never come and I want to throw up my hands and say “well, what was all that hard work though?”
And I turn to this reading in Scripture about the example of Abraham. Abraham was promised if he followed God, through him all the world would be blessed. Well, not actually through him. Through his descendants. Whom he waited, waited, waited, and did not see despite not seeing an impact. Finally he did see the birth of two sons, but he never saw them bless the world. It came later.
We can see it looking back. We can see how his descendants become the heirs of hope and promise, becoming the ones whose continuation of the covenant with Abraham give birth to the great monotheistic religions of Islam, Judaism, and Christianity who help spread an awareness of God as personable, knowable, and focused intently on faith being about treating others with compassion, fairness, and love.
Their legacy has sown the seeds of so much good in the world, blessing it in ways unfathomable.
I can look back, too, at some points I struggled to do what I felt God called me to do, never seeing the fruit in that moment. I can see ways that stumbling, bumbling, work ended up touching lives and transforming people who did the same. I can see the ripples of the pebble drop of my efforts across the waters of time and am amazed to see how the effects of some of the most trying moments brought forth blessings. And I’m filled with gratitude.
This gratitude helps me embrace the disconcertion of more moments when I am impatient to “get there”. They remind me to be open, knowing the journey is as important as the destination. Because each footfall to God’s destination is like the flutter of butterfly wings which send ripples of change that ultimately can create a hurricane wind of transformation.
Oh God, help me to be faithful, trusting if I do my part you will get me to your destination.